Well… New Year’s is here again. Time to change our hair, up the ante, make lofty, ‘life-changing’ goals, and then exhaust ourselves trying to accomplish those resolutions… Yay.

To be fair, sometimes this works. Depending on your personality, season of life, and other nuanced variables, the whole New Year, New Me thing could be fun and may even be feasible. But if the mere thought of New Year’s resolutions provokes a tired sigh from the depths of your being, then please know you are definitely not alone.

Pressure from elaborate New Year’s resolutions often leads to burnout, stress, or worse – inaccurate and unwarranted feelings of inadequacy. The truth is that sometimes those New Year’s goals simply aren’t achievable. There. I said it. And I don’t say that to disempower you or suggest your potential is limited. It’s not.

All I’m saying is, what if the goal you really need to set for yourself this year is to embrace who and where you are? Because there is a time and place for ambitious resolutions, but for many of us, setting realistic intentions instead of goals may be the far more mindful option.

Here are three reasons why…

1.) The New Year, New Me idea is a total myth

New Year’s celebrations are exciting in every culture, and with that anticipation comes hope-filled expectations for major changes or improvements. But the emotional toll of chasing unrealistic goals can send us spiraling into overwhelming stress, guilt, self-criticism, and burnout.

By the next month, or even the next day, we find ourselves left with overly idealistic goals and not enough motivation to manifest our hopes into reality. As the future version of us we dream of feels further away than ever, discouragement and feelings of inadequacy are quick to sink in.

2.) What’s wrong with the old you? Or ‘right now’ you?

Part of true growth means accepting and embracing who we are right now as a starting point. So, why are we throwing out the value of ‘today’ you? Besides, personal growth often doesn’t require a total overhaul. Rather, it’s about small, consistent shifts that build sustainably over time.

I would suggest that who you are today doesn’t need to be reinvented. You may just need to be reinvigorated. Replenished. Restored. After all, who you are today is a summation of every version of you you’ve ever been. You survived and grew through every single one of your toughest days, and I believe that’s worth celebrating.

3.) There is no deadline on growth.

The most powerful transformations are the authentic ones – the ones that happen naturally and unfold organically over time. Transformation timelines are not entirely within our control, which means we can’t always force our will – however well intentioned – on our personal development. While we can be eager participants and stay mindfully alert to transformative opportunities, we cannot dictate a set time frame for any true transformation.

Intentions vs Goals

What to do instead of New Year’s resolutions?

As an alternative to New Year’s resolutions, consider setting mindful intentions.

There is a glorious difference between intentions and goals. Whereas a goal is a specific, measurable outcome to be accomplished during a set period of time, an intention focuses on your mindset and internal beliefs. In other words, goals are the what and intentions are the why – and it is your why that will always carry truer transformational power.

I love intention setting because it feels more authentic and self-accepting than goal setting. Additionally, intentions are realistic and encourage progress while remaining flexible, and they allow you to focus on small, sustainable changes rather than dramatic transformations. Your intention may be as simple as committing to a daily gratitude practice, making a weekly routine to go on a sensory walk, or setting aside time for rest.

The point is to focus less on the resulting goal, and more on becoming the person who produces that goal. Like, James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

The Power of an Intentional Word

When people pursue a drastic change, often what they’re really after is not so much the change itself, but the feeling of fulfillment that comes with the change. However, simply lessening the pressure on a grand goal will allow you to have a more authentic year, which is what brings true fulfillment.

With this in mind, one of my favorite intentions is a practice I’ve been doing for over 10 years now. Instead of resolutions, I simply choose a word for the year. This one word, whether consciously or not, always turns into a theme of growth for me and a touchpoint I can refer back to throughout the year. Replacing resolutions with a single word is powerful because it provides grace and space for authentic transformation and moments of fulfillment.

What intentional word speaks to you? Courage, alignment, synergy, compassion, faith… ?

How about honor? What would it look like for you to honor who you were yesterday and who you are today? What would it look like for you to honor the truth that even a small intention can lead to meaningful shifts?

How to Set Intentions – 3 Tips for Mindful Intention Setting

Tip #1 – Embrace your imperfections with compassion.

So you haven’t achieved everything you wanted to have achieved yet. Let that be ok. The power of self-compassion can neutralize the pressure of perfectionism. Besides, just because you haven’t accomplished something yet doesn’t mean you have failed. It means there was a detour that required your attention. And even if you did ‘fail,’ failure is a natural part of growth and a good friend of resilience.

**Tip #2 – Focus on the why behind the what.**

Without the weight of perfection, we are free to go deeper into the heart of a goal. For example, instead of <whatever your goal is> – are you wanting to feel more nurtured? Are you seeking ways to care for your health and well-being? If so, is setting a massive goal for yourself in your best interest? What gentle, life-giving intention could you set for yourself instead that would allow you to responsibly manage your emotional needs?

Tip #3 – Consistently check-in with yourself and/or a therapist, coach, or friend.

Write down your intention and revisit it throughout the year, and remember – you have the right to adjust your intention as needed. A great way to remain grounded in your intention is to combine your intention with self-reflection. Self-care practices like journaling, mediation, or simply pausing to reflect on your current emotional status without judgement will keep you focused and mindfully motivated.

The bottom line – ‘New Year, Same Me’ is beautiful!

What if before you launch into a plan to achieve a desired transformation, you pause to authentically reflect? What would it look like to acknowledge where you are today and all of what you’ve overcome? I believe the personal growth and resilience that led you to this exact moment is worth honoring. And I wonder what inner transformations would naturally begin to unfold if you saw and celebrated the value in this version of you.

Let’s Connect

Hi there! I’m Jenny, a licensed therapist and Certified Adult Chair® Master Coach.

Hi there! I’m Jenny, a licensed Holistic Therapist (LISW-CP) and Certified Adult Chair Master Coach. I combine both therapy and coaching methodologies to provide my clients with a holistic perspective and the techniques they need to flourish. Rediscovering who you were always meant to be is an act of courage, and radical self-love can turn unconscious paralysis into conscious, authentic growth. Learn more about me here.

New Year, Same Me: Embracing self-acceptance and reducing goal-setting pressure