7 Therapeutic ways to practice self-care during the holidays
How do you feel when you think about the holidays? Does the mere mention of the festive season fill you with hopeful anticipation for glad tidings with great joy? Or does it trigger an eyeroll and a deep sigh of pre-holiday stress?
If the life season you are currently experiencing vibes well with the holiday season, that’s great! But if your emotional calendar is not syncing up with the holiday calendar – completely understandable! From seasonal joy to seasonal anxiety, the holidays can cause an array of complex emotions. Doing and being everything for everyone can be overwhelming, and around the holidays it can be easy to let self-care fall to the bottom of the to-do list. However, as you search for the perfect gift for everyone else, please remember to give yourself the precious gift of self-care.
What is self-care?
The importance of self-care around the holidays.
Self-care is self-love in action, and while it is essential all year long, I have found self-care is especially important around the holidays when family expectations and social obligations are at an all-time high.
To help you feel all your feelings with care and compassion, here are seven therapeutic ways to practice self-care. Please keep in mind, you don’t need to do all of these or even any of these. Pick one or two that resonate the most with you or get creative and make up your own. Self-care is personal and I encourage you to get curious and find what works best for you.
7 Ways to practice self-care during the holidays – or any time of year!
Focus on your physical needs.
Any activity that restores your energy and reconnects your mind to your body is a form of self-care. Physical health and mental health are deeply linked, and in very practical terms, self-care looks like getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and moving in ways that feel good to your body. It’s amazing what a good night of sleep, a healthy meal, and a walk outside can accomplish! Practice self-care at the fundamental level by prioritizing life obligations around your sleep schedule, health, and physical activity, not the other way around! Think about what practical care you would provide for a child, and then give yourself the same kindness and care.
2. Intentionally fortify your boundaries.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Boundaries are a form of self-care! If you need to RSVP ‘no’, reset expectations, opt not to get everyone a gift, or __(fill in the blank)__ that is ok. Every ‘yes’ you give is a ‘no’ to something else, so be honest with your feelings and practice self-care by saying, ‘yes’ to you. It is common for the Inner Adolescent to feel pressured and obligated to do everything and be everything for everyone, but there is no obligation. From the Healthy Adult perspective, everything you do or don’t do is a choice, and you get to choose to do or not do whatever you decide is best.
3. Talk to yourself.
In the same way you might check-in on a dear friend, check-in with yourself. Take a mindful moment each morning, afternoon, or evening and ask yourself what you need. Place your hand over your heart and say, “I’m here. I’ve got you. What do you need right now?” Allow yourself to be present with whatever emotions you are experiencing and lean into whatever feelings arise. Honor your feelings by being fully present with both positive and difficult emotions, accepting them exactly as they are without judgment. If an uncomfortable feeling arises, acknowledge it with curiosity as if to say, “Hmm… Here I am, having this feeling. Isn’t that interesting.”
Learn more: Why your emotions matter & how to process emotions in a healthy way
4. Practice mindfulness.
Embodying a state of mindfulness can take time and practice, but there are many mindful exercises to help you achieve a place of calmness, presence, and clarity. Get curious and figure out which mindfulness practice works best for you, and then make it a daily habit. Some of my favorite mindfulness practices include walking, being in nature, practicing gratitude, puzzles, breathwork, journaling, grounding, and meditation.
Learn more: The truth about genuine gratitude – How to invite real joy into your life
5. Commit to a daily grounding exercise.
There are many different grounding exercises you could try, and one I like to recommend is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, which is an amazing technique for reconnecting with the present moment. In fact, the 5-4-3-2-1 senses practice is a proven therapeutic technique for individuals with severe anxiety or Complex PTSD (cPTSD). Here’s how it works:
When you are feeling a less than neutral feeling, pause, lean into you five senses and…
Note 5 different objects you can see with your eyes. Explore your immediate surroundings and notice the details about the items you see. What color are they? Size? Shape?
Distinguish 4 different sounds you can hear. Perhaps your computer humming, a car outside, a bedroom fan… what do you hear when you listen?
Feel 3 different textures. Your hair, the skin on your hands, your socks, etc.
Identify 2 different smells. Your drink, the scent of your home, something cooking, etc.
Detect 1 taste. A mint? Your lunch? A beverage?
6. Explore meditation.
There are multiple types of meditation, and they are all powerfully therapeutic for embodying conscious presence. Here are some meditational ideas to get you started:
Sit in silence and observe your passing thoughts like clouds.
Listen to a guided meditation.
Experiment with movement meditation (mindful walking, stretching, Tai-Chi or Qi Gong)
Do a mindful body scan. I like to start from the feet and move slowly up the body, noticing any tightness or sensations present.
Reconnect with a breathing exercise.
Refocus attention with visualization meditation.
Destress with progressive muscle relaxation.
Try mantra meditation or counting.
Close your eyes and pray.
Follow a Yoga meditation.
7. Be a Healthy Adult parent to yourself.
Self-care is caring for the self – but which self? The answer is all of them. Honoring your inner child through gentle self-care is one way to embody the Healthy Adult.
This may look like avoiding too much caffeine or sugar, not staying up late for another episode, setting and sticking to a holiday budget, or taking the time to enjoy a fun activity. Or it may simply mean asking yourself, “What do I need to recalibrate and realign?” This is a form of re-parenting, and it is a beautiful way to give your Inner Child and Inner Adolescent the patience and compassion they need to feel safe and secure. Explore the different parts of who you are and ask them what forms of attention they need. What part of you needs to be heard, held, acknowledged, comforted, or celebrated?
Learn more: Every part of who you are – Discovering your top three inner voices
The bottom line
Self-care is a powerful way to connect with your inner self, and I have found it is one of the best ways to stay grounded, centered, and authentic. My hope for this holiday season is you will navigate the ebbs and flows with mindful, conscious presence. I hope you feel all the feelings and navigate each moment with self-care and self-love.
Let’s Connect
Hi there! I’m Jenny, a licensed Holistic Therapist and Certified Adult Chair® Master Coach.
I combine both therapy and coaching methodologies to provide my clients with a holistic perspective and the techniques they need to flourish. Rediscovering who you were always meant to be is an act of courage, and radical self- love can turn unconscious paralysis into conscious growth. Learn more about me here.