Darkness cannot overshadow your true self: 5 Deep dark truths about healing
“Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted."
― Christine Caine
Why did ‘IT’ have to happen?
Most humans will muse over existential questions at some point in their life, and while we cannot provide perfectly satisfying answers to these tough questions, we can absolutely search our own hearts, reflect on our personal life experiences, and produce a potential solution to what many call, the ‘problem of pain.’
For me, personally, I’m not so sure that pain is a problem. And if pain is a problem, I’m not sure it is up to us to ‘solve’ pain so much as it is our responsibility to grow through and rise above pain. As a therapist and life coach, I often feel a bit like a scientist of life. I zoom in and get up close to examine unique life experiences, and then I step back and assess circumstantial nuances from a higher perspective.
And I noticed something… Pain is universal.
We all experience it. Grief doesn’t discriminate, and none of us are immune to trauma. Life is full of wonderful, bright moments bursting with joys both big and simple, but it’s also fraught with difficulty, darkness, and sometimes even despair.
I know all about despair. Adversity and pain are old friends of mine, and we’ve been through so much together. But I’m also friends with hope and wisdom, and I’m familiar with the healing power of love. I have felt the invisible weight of darkness, but I have also seen the light side of the shadow. As a result, I have learned to find intrinsic value in every experience – even the so-called ‘bad’ ones.
Through mindful, conscious living, I’ve revisited my darkest moments and uncovered 5 deep truths about life’s hardships.
These truths are personal and unique to me, and perhaps they will resonate with you, too:
1. There was a point and a purpose to my pain.
God/The Universe never wastes our pain. Because I experienced my own dark mental health struggles, I am able to walk my clients through healing their own. And while the struggles were incredibly painful, I would not be where I am or doing what I'm doing had I not gone through those challenges.
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash
2. I either win or I learn.
Life experiences will bring a mix of the good, the great, the bad, and the ugly. From positive, good-feeling moments to unwanted, contrasting experiences, every moment – even the gut-wrenching ones – offers something worth learning.
3. Life’s disappointments offer directional guidance.
Sometimes, life disappointments can feel like they are taking away from us, but disappointments often deliver a clear directive. The curve balls life throws our way can point us towards situations, opportunities, and relationships we never imagined. I have learned that God/The Universe will often take away what we think we want so that we have room to receive what we really need.
4. I am grateful for my life experiences. ALL of them. Even the painful parts.
Adversity is the mother of so many virtues. Courage, resilience, wisdom, compassion, authenticity, strength… When I look back at seasons of my life where I felt so lost, I can now see a clear path, and I can’t help but think – it all worked out. It is still working out. My highest good was never at risk. I’m on track, and perhaps the darkness I endured was the necessary experience my Soul needed to grow and evolve. God/The Universe was never against me and was constantly working for me and on my behalf the entire time.
5. No darkness can overshadow my true self.
When our highest, truest selves go head-to-head with the darkest of times, we win. Every. Single. Time.
Surviving the darkness is not easy, but it’s worth it.
It was not easy for me to accept the light I found in these deep, dark truths. I wrestled with them for a long time. The deeper you’ve been hurt, the harder it can feel to believe that life is happening for your ultimate good. If you are open to exploring the light side of the shadows in your own life, here is an exercise I love to help my clients work through.
“Because I experienced ________, I learned or am now ______."
If this exercise stirs something in you, I invite you to lean into that feeling. Explore the emotions this exercise brings up. Feeling a mixture of complex emotions surrounding this topic is completely normal, and if you would like the compassionate support of a trained professional, please contact me. We’ll work through this together.
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Hi there! I’m Jenny, a licensed therapist and Certified Adult Chair® Master Coach.
I combine both therapy and coaching methodologies to provide my clients with a holistic perspective and the techniques they need to flourish. Rediscovering who you were always meant to be is an act of courage, and radical self- love can turn unconscious paralysis into conscious growth. Learn more about me here.