The human spirit never ceases to amaze me. From the moment we are born, and our tiny lungs fill with our first breath of air, we are on the move. We reach out, curiously grasping at everything within reach, and as soon as we possibly can, we’re crawling. Walking. Then running.

And we don’t stop.

The seasons of life may shift and parts of who we are change, but the dreaming, hoping, and striving for the best of everything life has to offer remains constant. Whether it’s a relationship, promotion, lifestyle, or personal goal – we can become obsessed with everything we want to accomplish.

We want it all. All the peace. All the healing. All the financial security, beauty, and fun. And a tidy, flawlessly decorated home... And six-pack abs. (Because, why not?)

While chasing down our highest potential can be a positive thing, there is a breaking point.

Perfectionism is like a never-ending marathon where the finish line keeps getting pushed back. Behind every accomplishment is a newer, bigger, and ‘better’ goal. Yet for all the striving, the idealized future version of us with the immaculately curated life never fully materializes. Elusive and flawless, the dream of perfection keeps us exhausted and running.

In this latest blog, we do a deep dive into perfectionism… what it is, why we crave it, and the hidden cost of perfectionism. We’ll explore the difference between a high achiever and a perfectionist and close with five ways to pursue excellence without burning out.

Why?

When did the pursuit of self-improvement turn into an all-out mad dash toward perfection? When did we stop being content with good enough and make flawless the only acceptable standard?

Having everything ‘under control’ is so comforting – isn’t it? Most of us enjoy orchestrating our lives into neat, tidy, pleasant, and predictable moments, and we actively work to avoid the unpleasant and unpredictable.

However, the unpredictable is unavoidable. Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, and when uncertainty strikes, it can feel like a rug has been pulled out from under us. In reality, uncertainty is constant and everywhere. It’s part of the human experience, and at some point, every one of us will have to deal with the reality of uncertainty.  

But, let’s be honest... Some types of uncertainty feel easier to cope with than others? For some reason, coping with some personal or professional uncertainty feels expected. Manageable even. But then there’s uncertainty regarding yours or a loved one’s health, uncertainty surrounding a gut-wrenching disappointment, or a major life transition that leaves you wondering… What now?

How do we mindfully navigate uncertainty? Uncertainty can certainly be difficult, but it can also be useful. There is a way to find the calm in a storm of uncertainty, and it begins with developing an appreciation for the benefits of uncertainty.

The healing journey can feel very lonely sometimes, in part because personal growth requires inner work and significant soul searching. It is normal to experience a sense of isolation when the healing process draws your focus inward, but the healing process cannot be completed in isolation. Safe, authentic, relational connection is necessary for true healing and post-traumatic growth.

If you are experiencing an alone time, asking for help may seem counterintuitive. After all, who are you supposed to turn to? And how? And when? In this article, we’re going to make ‘asking for help’ a little less intimidating by going over what asking for help really means. We will explore when to ask for help, how to ask for help, and work through some of the top reasons why asking for help is so hard.

The topic of trauma is a big one, a personal one, and a challenging one, so before exploring this big, personal, challenging topic, let’s create a secure mental space – an observational place where we can feel safe while learning about this complex topic together.

There is healing power in learning about how our brains and bodies work, and how what happens to us impacts what is currently happening to us. The goal of this article is to demystify trauma and provide you with a complete, non-triggering overview on:

·        What trauma means

·        Types of trauma

·        Symptoms of trauma

·        The impact of trauma

·        Healing trauma

There is much I could say about the shadowy parts that live within each of us. My healing passport has many stamps from the shadowlands – or the ‘dark pit’ as I sometimes call it. I learned so much while traversing the untamed wilderness of my inner landscape and uncovered many deep truths about my life’s hardships.

The further I explored the shadows, the more my inner light was revealed, and I discovered that many parts of who I was were hiding within and behind the darkness – feeding me lies about who I was and my place in the world. I HAD to face those shadow parts, because they had no idea who I am today. I had to teach them, and I still teach them. I consciously choose over and over again to live from the truth of my Soul and not the lies of my Shadow.

Getting to know the unconscious parts of yourself requires digging deep. Sometimes that digging can be emotionally painful, but there is a reward hiding within Shadow Work…
Light. Truth. The you-est ¬you.

With that said, this overview will explore the powerful role of Shadow Work in the healing process.

There comes a point in the healing process where everything changes. Everything.

Absolutely nothing is as it used to be. You’re not like you used to be. And you question everything you thought you knew. In the midst of all the confusion, you begin to realize that the old you – the you who started the healing journey – is no longer who you are today.

Friends… this is often the most painful part of healing.

So, what do you do when you’re no longer a caterpillar, but not yet a butterfly? What do you do when you feel stuck in the transformational middle between death and rebirth? What do you do when everything you are feels like a pile of goo wrapped in a thin, fragile chrysalis and your exposed, sensitive heart is full of uncertainty?

Healing can be messy. ‘Doing the work’ is hard. Therapy/Coaching can be emotionally draining.

These are true statements, but friends, we need to talk. There are way too many myths and half-truths circulating about therapy and coaching and not enough clarity around what it means to ‘do the work.’ As a Licensed Therapist (LISW-CP), Certified Adult Chair Master Life Coach, and also someone who has personally participated in therapy and coaching, I want to dispel some of these myths and answer common questions about what it really means to ‘do the work.’

A victim mindset is a continuous feeling that unsafe forces beyond your influence are controlling your life. Someone with a victim mindset will continuously regard themselves as a victim, even if they are not currently being victimized. Over time, victimization can become a part of someone’s self-identity. If we inspect a little further though, we will discover that a victim mentality is a subconscious function of the Inner Adolescent. Feeling exploited, fooled, controlled, or undermined can understandably lead to intense feelings of doubt and mistrust – feelings which often trigger an Adolescent Chair response.

Most humans will muse over existential questions at some point in their life, and while we cannot provide perfectly satisfying answers to these tough questions, we can absolutely search our own hearts, reflect on our personal life experiences, and produce a potential solution to what many call, the ‘problem of pain.’

How to practice gratitude, easy gratitude practice ideas, and 5 ways to navigate difficult times with gratitude.